I've wanted to write for so long but for some reason I didn't. Maybe I wasn't ready to write again as writing shows a side of me that for the past couple of months I was hiding from and I don't understand why.
I haven't been myself for a while now and I miss being me, does anyone else get that feeling sometimes?
For the past year, I overworked myself, I failed to see toxic patterns in my life, I failed to make time to breath as I always did before, I failed to prioritize, I failed to be me and got locked in the hamster wheel of life.
But today I will change those words to be
I learned that I need to slow down, I learned that I have to pay more attention to repeated gaslighting and toxic cycles, I learned that gas-lighting takes place in different forms and I should be more aware, I learned that it's top priority that I make time to breath and prioritize because life isn't getting caught up in our version of what we so call 'that's life & adulthood" and I learned that excuses are not moving me closer to what I want in life. I learned that I need to be me no matter what's happening around me and I learned that if I fail to set boundaries then I'll get caught up in everything that has been drowning me without moving forward.
I'm writing this today because I want each one of us to stay true to themselves by checking in on a weekly basis how did I spend my time this week, what would I like to change in the next, Is this moving me closer to what I want, Is this making me a better person or is this showing a part of myself that I don't like?
Am I just working round the clock for the money or am i doing it because it sets my soul on fire? Am I always hustling because I'm afraid if I slowed down then my demons will catch up to me or because I want to make things happen in my life and I can't wait for life to happen and I want to take control?
Ask yourself how do you feel about yourself at this point of your life and be ready for whatever answer that comes up.
The most important thing I learned in the past year was that I always have a choice no matter what, if i can't find it then i need to step back and rethink it, but there is always a choice and it comes down to the courage to make it.